In all seriousness, our room at the Best Western ended up being a nice upgrade.
The studio is tiny, shockingly difficult to find, and provides near zero separation from the host's home. We were greeted by overflowing trash cans and a barking dog as we worked our way just past the many windows of the owner's home. It was rainy and cold. The gas wall heater wouldn't light. The new smoke detector still had the cardboard (battery protecting) tab inside it, making it inoperable. Not a confidence builder when combined with a suspect gas appliance.
Cozy and small are not interchangeable. This place was tiny and clean, but not warm, comforting or relaxing.